The Story of the Black Grouse by Frankie Lassut

Author:Frankie Lassut
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: scotland, whiskey, humour adventure
Publisher: Frankie Lassut

Thes was a fefty sex pound weight that had to be thrown over a bar. Only one hand was to be used. Och, now ye knae what I’m going tae say daent ye? The Grouse used, hes teeth.

The women fainted at thes, and before they passed into temporary oblivion, they emagen that their and the Grouse’s keds, all twelve ay em chewing tough deerskens en order tae soften them tae make modern day clothing and shoelaces tae save buying that stuff weth child benefit which can then be used properly. That is the actual genetic effect of a ScoUttesh woman en the last tae years, marrying an Eskimo she met on My Space. Actually, that could have been Facebook, or Married so What, or Meet The One, or Sengle En Scoutland, or English For Sale, or Richenglishman.cum com?

People who were present at that glorious event swore that the glent of light that came from the Grouse’s smile was from a very, very, very expensive diamond embedded en hes front tooth, like Meck Jagger’s smile. They say the Grouse cannot hide on Glencoe when the sun shines ef he smiles.

Maide Leisg es a very useful game en ScoUtland. Et consests of a way fer the men tae get haime when drunk, and as The Bey Yen says, when he falls on hes arse drenk, and peple accuse hem of being drenk, he denies et and says enstead that he’s breaking a bar eey chocolate en hes back poucket. But then, the grand tartan task es tae get back up again, whench can be challengeng. Some say that thes game whech started oot as a form of ferst aid was started by drunk ScoUttesh mothers when they couldn’t get up from the floor where they had fallen three hours before the cheldren were due at enfants school. Och aye the nooo! Training for independent adulthood starts never tae early, nursery being an exception, there are semply too many perverts around to resk et ... England’s tae close you see. A Child Called Et? Dave Pelzer? Och nooo, he deden’t know he was bourn! Softer than a Hagges’s;’scrotum hes childhood, the liar ... luxury he leved en, luxury ah say. And I’ll fight any man who tells me defferent! C’mon then! C’mon! Where ere ye?! C’mon ye cessy sassy sassernachs! Stand up welll ye and fight!

“Och Jemmy man. Calm down won’t ye. Would ye like a drenk?”

Och aye, don’t mind ef I do, thanks. So. The mothers leaerned how tae communicate weth their best friend who wes alsae drenk, who then came around her hoose weth her mother who wasnay drenk because she had already trained her daughter endependence, and she then carried her daughter to her best friend’s hoose. Och, are ye followeng thes? So, the older mother then opens the door and walks in and drops her daughter on the floor en front of the other mother whose bairns are happy at nursery learning to take toys and stuff from the

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